Author Archives: markatlarge

Lena Dunham Ruins Ugly People’s Lives

Lena Dunham and Patrick Wilson HBo Girls

Lena Dunham has finally gone too far! Girls’ last episode has such a farcical plot even the mainstream media started ragging on the show. The plot is a frumpy girl with a “womanly sized figure” hooks up with a hot successful older doctor, who’s in lust for her. Esquire was so befuddled by the plot they thought it must have been a dream sequence. Essentially they’re saying there is no way in hell Lena Dunham could land a good-looking doctor (Patrick Wilson). I think we can all understand a plot where a hot guy is really horny and hooks up with the nearest warm body, but then for said hot guy to be in lust with his mercy fuck is too much to comprehend.

Would this guy really hook-up with Lena Dunham: Continue reading

markatlarge Tweets the Grammys

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Backstage And Audience

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Rex Reed Has A Boner for Jason Bateman

Jason Bateman Melissa McCarthy

I’m pretty sure Rex Reed has a major hard-on for Jason Bateman. The New York Observer film critic rips apart Bateman’s new movie Identity Thief co-starring, as Reed puts it, “tractor-sized Melissa McCarthy.” That’s pretty offensive! Reed goes on like a woman scored referring to McCarthy’s character as a “humongous creep” and a “female hippo.” It’s not just McCarthy’s role in this movie Reed doesn’t like he referees to her as “a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success.” All the while he gushes over Bateman like a school-girl. Reed is befuddled why such a “bankable” star like Bateman who’s “so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck (a.k.a ‘trash’ for less hoity-toity).” Continue reading

HBO’s Girls Disenfranchises Teenage Boys (NSFW)

HBO Girls

Back in the 80’s as a teenage boy it was my life’s work to sneak up in the middle of the night to watch soft-core porn on HBO like The Red Shoe Diaries, Real Sex and good old movies like Porky’sThose days are over. Now teenagers are relegated to looking at an average women and a lot of her: Continue reading

Manti Te’o: Is He or Isn’t He…

Manti Tao is he Gay or Not

Notre Dame football player Manti Te’o has rocketed to fame for having a fake online romance for two years. Manti’s story is so fascinating because he’s a devout Mormon at a Catholic College that lead Notre Dame to many championships. His football successes were so great that he placed second in voting for the prestigious Heisman Trophy.

Naturally everyone thinks a high-profile guy with a fake girlfriend is gay. Well, before you rush to judgement consider all the circumstances that fueled Manti’s cyber romance: Continue reading

American Idol Ruins It for Beyonce

Beyonce Superbowl Lip-Syncing

That’s right! Idol ruins everything it touches. Before American Idol, it was quite acceptable to have a scantly-clad, incredibly-beautiful woman booty shaking her way to stardom without singing one word live. The era of the J Los, Beyonces, Brittneys and Madonnas has passed. All the ladies still have their legions of fans, but no one else is allowed into that exclusive club. I can’t think of a hot artist whose star has risen in the generation of American Idol who doesn’t sing live. Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift have all the accoutrements and can sing live. Idol has reinvigorated the art of singing live.  Continue reading

Lance Armstrong Is Not That Bad!

Lance Armstrong Doaping

I have just started taking spinning classes the past few months, so naturally I consider myself an expert on cycling. And all I can tell you is it’s hard! You leave the class feeling woozy, achy and light headed. Ten minutes into the class I inevitably look at the clock thinking a half-hour has passed, but it’s only 10 fucking minutes! Some people, whom I don’t believe, say they experience some sort of high when endorphins kick in, but I’m sure it’s their Adderall finally kicking in when they got their asses moving. So for me I can completely understand why Lance Armstrong doped and transfused blood. After spinning class I want a vodka soda and a transfusion of ho ho’s. Once the class is over I have a huge appetite (ugh, my body is completely working against me). You need some chemical to balance you out.  Continue reading

American Idol Overhyped?

american-idol-2013-judges Nicki Minaj Mariah Carey Randy Jackson Keith Urban

The eagerly awaited premiere of American Idol Season: Divas Gone Wild was a fizzle. Based on the  pre-show publicity that included death threats, beefed up security and confessionals to Barbra Walters we were expecting some bitch-slappin’ and wig-pullin’ from Idol’s newest judges, Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj. All we got was some inane argument about who knew the movie Mean Girls better. (Show spoiler – it was Mariah) Setting aside the hype Mariah and Nicki were interesting to watch because you always sensed the two were on the edge of an all out war. Continue reading

Tim Tebow Losing Faith in God

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Tim Tebow has followed the word of the Lord to a tee–he goes to church, doesn’t drink, prays every night, gives money to charity and most of all hasn’t had sex!!! For christ-sake what else does this guy have to do to get a break. Let’s take a look at some low points in his year: Continue reading