Battle of the (Olympic-Sized) Bulge

This family friendly event has turned into to cesspool of sleaze. Hard-bodied lycra-cladded studs are displaying their naughty bits for the world to see. It’s disgusting! I’m so upset I reported NBC to Mom’s Against Penises for their Olympic coverage.

I called up Chic-Fil-A’s CEO for his opinion, and he thinks all these bulging athletes flaunting their Johnsons are turning kids gay. In protest to the depravity, Chic-Fil-A will no longer sell drumsticks. Before people get in an uproar it’s not because he doesn’t like dark meat, allegedly, but it’s because the drumstick looks like a penis–makes sense. I personally plan to boycott Dupont, the makers of Lycra.

The person I most feel sorry for is 30-year-old Olympic runner Lolo Jones, more known for being the world’s second most famous virgin. With all these temptations how is this poor girl going to keep her ultimate gift for her future husband Tim Tebow (the world’s most famous virgin–sorry Jesus)? On a side note, why do good-looking people need to broadcast their self-imposed virginity? It just makes ugly virgins feel sad about their un-imposed virginity.

Anyway, back to the Bulge. If there is one good thing that has come out of this controversy is that we can confirm these athletes are not on steroids—unless they found a new roid that doesn’t shrink your testicles.

I’m sorry to say the lamestream media doesn’t have the courage to cover this story. So markatlarge will do the dirty job of exposing every last one of these perverse athletes and display them on my website for the world to see what’s being sold as wholesome entertainment. Think of me as the modern-day Woodyward and Bonerstein.

Let’s take a look at the Hall of shame

Henrik Rummel
Age: 24
Country: U.S.A.
Sport: Rowing

This obscene picture is was the inspiration for my post: (I guess he was really excited he won the Bronz–I wonder what a Gold metal would do to him?)

Björn Barrefors
Age: 21
Country: Sweden
Sport: Decathlon

I don’t know what made me think of this, but I do love Swedish meatballs.

 

Danell Leyva
Age: 20
Country: U.S.A.
Sport: Gymnastics

Danell just isn’t happy with his Olympic over-exposure – he needs to tweet his pornography.

Troy Dumais
Age 32
Country U.S.A.
Sport Diving

Does Troy’s score get a handicap when he dives? That monster must cause and extra splash the Chinese competitors don’t have to worry about.

Ryan Bailey
Age: 23
Country: U.S.A.
Sport: Running

I guess you can say Ryan has an extra leg up on the competition!

 

This depravity took place in Beijing too:

Nelson Évora
Age: 28
Coutnry: Portugal
Sport:

 

My apologies for any typos, for some reaason my keyyyboarddd is veeeery stitttcky todayyyy.

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32 thoughts on “Battle of the (Olympic-Sized) Bulge

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  5. Eoghan Mac Caoimh

    Hey to “whoever” slugs off Björn Barrefors….
    so, YOU “Whoever”  -  get a life… nothing bad at all in pics of Björn Barrefors that have been shown to the public… Kids do not turn to gay just by looking at Male Gymnasts, Gayness is something that a person gets born with…  Gay or not Gay… What is ur problem?   If you are homophobic, there is no need to show it to the world on a World Web Page… You just making a fool of urself…  
    Or maybe YOU just go back to school to educate urself more on A modern world….

    Reply
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  7. Johan

    To the Mothers, so by looking at the women athlete’s boobs bulging out, str8t kids surpposingly will be come rapist ? . I think all this complaining Mothers are having a bigger thrill out of the mens bulges then anyone else.

    Reply
  8. Adam

    Who fucking cares!!!  Men have Dicks, that’s nothing new.   We don’t complain when women have Camel Toe all over the place, or when there boobs are hanging out all over the place.  

    Reply
  9. Adam

    I find it refreshing that America is pulling their head out of their ass and not caring about trivial things such as private parts.  Why is it women’s boobs and vagina’s are displayed in movies all the time and yet people have no problem…but when it’s a guys Penis hanging out people make a big stink.  GET OVER IT!  Men have Cocks, that’s why we like them.  You are being a stupid ass corporate American, and I bet you are a fucking woman would hasn’t gotten laid in centuries and doesn’t have anything better to do.  Now if they had their member out and were waving it around the place yeah… I’d see an issue with it but GUESS what they Don’t!  You don’t see other countries pulling this shit. 

    Yes, I happen to be gay, but it had NOTHING to do with watching the Olympics.  Fuck you for even thinking that, you narrow minded twat!

    Also Thanks for posting all those pics, I highly enjoyed all of them ;-)

    Reply
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  19. Guest

    I’m a 50 something woman, mother, and grandmother. I don’t mind an occasional look because it shows I’m still alive, even if those pictured are young enough to be my children!!!!

    Reply
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  26. Adam

    Nelson Evora – This man has a stunningly beautiful face and physique. Why should he not take pride in showing off
    his perfectly sculpted masculinity and his superior virility?

    Reply

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