Category Archives: Tom Daley

Tom Daley Is Not Only A National Treasure He’s A National Resource!

Britain is serious about energy independence. It looks like British Gas bought the rights to drill Tom’s ass. I can imagine many of Tom’s fans would enjoy fracking his butt for all the resources it offers, but only one lucky company has the right to tap that ass.  Continue reading

Tom Daley: From Olympian to Stripper?

I need a new Olympic obsession since Ryan Lochte is so last year. Now I have my sights set on Britain’s cutest national treasure Tom Daley. It might seem odd but at age 18, he has  an autobiography about himself and a BBC documentary–the British must be starved for good Olympians. They’re so desperate for a great Olympian that if Michael Phelps was British, Queen Elizabeth would abdicate the throne and the country would pledge its allegiance to King Phelps I.

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