NFL’s super stud Tim Tebow is the talk of the country. Somehow this 24-year-old virgin, devout Christian, home-schooled hunk has both women and men longing to be on the receiving end of one of his bobbled passes.
Rob Gronkowski is willing to take one for the team! The Patriot’s Tight End has offered to forgo his football duties for an evening and be Tebows’ “pitcher” for the night. The Gronk admitted he “eff” Tebow to help the poor guy loose his virginity:
Brad Paisley had Tim Tebow on stage for a duet, to ensure people didn’t think it was gay Paisley had Tebow sing this verse from “I’m Still a Guy” that goes like this “These days there’s dudes getting facials, manicured, waxed and botoxed. With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands. You can’t grip a tackle box.” To reenforce Paisley wasn’t man-crushing on Tebow he sings this brilliant lyric: “Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked. There’s a gun in my truck. Oh thank God, I’m still a guy.” [Two dudes doing a duet–conjures up memories of Wham! before George Michael was gay]
Lady Gaga Tweeted
– “Giants fan but wow. #Tebow Thats what the fuck a champion looks like.” [I know Tebow being a virgin and all doesn’t have much experience with the ladies, but this tweet clearly indicates Lady Gaga will sleep with you anytime or anywhere.]
John Parr updated his song “St. Elmo’s Fire” as an homage to Tebow. Now the lyric is “Tim Tebow’s fire” [Don’t really know John Parr, but if he has a wife she better have a sit down. Is this a one time thing or what? The song’s pretty gay.]
Rick Perry wants to the be the “Tim Tebow of Politics.” [Not surprising Perry is aspiring to be someone who is considered by experts a mediocre player, but still manages to win. Regardless, Rick Perry is half way there as he is considered to be mediocre by most.]
Last year’s American Idol winner, Scotty McCreery, Tweeted “real happy for Tim Tebow! Not a bronco fan, but a Tebow fan. Anybody that doesn’t like him apparently just doesn’t like winners…” [MMM. Did Adam Lambert hack McCreery’s account or does Idol have another winner getting ready to come out of the closet.]
Even average Joes are mutilating their bodies in reverence to Tim Tebow: Check out this tattoo:
I’m caught up in it too. I’m hoping after Tim Tebow is finally de-programmed from his years of home schooling and the never-ending sermons from his Evangelical parents he discovers he really like to play for the other team. I’ll be ready to catch his wobbly pass anytime.
Important Tim Tebow Stats:
- Still a virgin (as of an interview on 1/11/12 with USA TODAY 1/11/2012)
- Single. [still a chance ladies] Why? Too busy [cross your fingers boys]
Check more picture of Tim Tebow as close to naked as I could find:
Tim Tebow’s first underwear AD:
Do you have some pics of Tim Tebow pics half-naked? Send them to me at info@markatlarge. Lets make this the one stop shop for all those Man Crushing on Tim Tebow.