Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone, the diva of all divas, shares her thoughts on Lady Gaga. Of course, Pats thinks Gaga is a cheap copy of herself or as one might say, reductive.
In Patsy’s opinion Bad Romance was inspired from her one night stand with Mick Jagger. Alejandro is about Patsy’s holiday in Mexico when she had a menage a trois with Alejandro, Roberto and Fernando. Just Dance, of course, chronicles one of Patsy’s fabulous nights out with Eddy, when she drank a little bit too much, lost her keys, and wondered how the DJ twist the dance.
Off Gaga’s Born This Way album the copying was blatant: Government Hooker is the sex name Prime Mister Tony Blair called Pats in bed. Judas is about when Pats got drunk at Westminster Abby during Princess Di’s wedding and had sex with an altar boy. Electric Chapel is the name of the opium den Pats frequents. Black Jesus is what Pats calls Seal’s penis. And right before Seal climaxes with Pats he screams, as many of Patsy’s lover do, I’m on The Edge of Glory. (Consequently after Heidi found out she couldn’t compete with Pats in bed she filed for divorce.)
Finally, for all the naysayers, the next fact is a matter of public record with the Center for Infectious Disease and the World Health Organization. Patsy was the first known patient to contract a new sexually transmitted disease scientist named Scheißies.
Does that name sound familiar? It sure does it’s Lady Gaga’s hottest dance track on Born This Way: Scheiße. Luckily Patsy was able to eradicate Scheißies with a week of binge drinking and a unknown concoction of several prescription drugs. Fortunately, Patsy only passed Scheißies on to one other known person, Lindsay Lohan, who unknowingly eradicated the disease the same way.
One can clearly see why Patsy is so upset with Lady Gaga. But, the final straw for Pats was when Gaga completely stole her signature Bouffant hair style. That is when Pats had her sex slave, markatlarge, create these vicious memes: