Lena Dunham Ruins Ugly People’s Lives

Lena Dunham and Patrick Wilson HBo Girls

Lena Dunham has finally gone too far! Girls’ last episode has such a farcical plot even the mainstream media started ragging on the show. The plot is a frumpy girl with a “womanly sized figure” hooks up with a hot successful older doctor, who’s in lust for her. Esquire was so befuddled by the plot they thought it must have been a dream sequence. Essentially they’re saying there is no way in hell Lena Dunham could land a good-looking doctor (Patrick Wilson). I think we can all understand a plot where a hot guy is really horny and hooks up with the nearest warm body, but then for said hot guy to be in lust with his mercy fuck is too much to comprehend.

Would this guy really hook-up with Lena Dunham:

Patrick Wislon

Patrick Wilson

Maybe. FUN. band member Jack Antonoff, former x-boyfriend of super sexy Scarlett Johansson, better known as Lena Dunham’s current boyfriend is pretty hot.

Jack Antonoff Lena Dunhams Boyfried

Jack Antonoff

So it can really happen–take that all you haters! You can bet their relationship is for real too. I can imagine Scarlett Johansson was probably a dead fish in bed–in medical terms it’s known as the I’m-the-pretty-girl-and-you-need-to-do-all-the-work syndrome. On the other hand we know Lena is a very very horny girl who probably works really hard to please her man. Jack has had a laundry list full of hot women he’s nailed, but I’m sure none ever compared to Lina’s freakiness in bed. I’d expect wedding bells soon.

The Girls’ plots are way out there. But you have to remember Lina Dunham writes the show, directs the show and stars in the show. And somehow she convinced the Hollywood luminaries it’s a good show. Do you really expect her to write herself having sex scenes with fugly guys–fuck no. Would you?

Take a look at Adam Sandler who wrote and starred in Grown Ups:

adam-sandler-shirtlessjpgHis wife in Grown Ups was Selma Hayek:

Salma Hayek Grown-Ups

When it’s a leading man in the movies hooking up with a hot chick I don’t hear Entertainment Weekly or Esquire complaining. Lena has turned the tables–get over it.

In reality all of this hypocrisy is bad for those of us who didn’t win the genetic lottery–we are destined to a lifetime of heartache. We think our lives are an episode of Girls or a douchebag
Adam Sandler movie. We are Lena! We are Adam! Why can’t we get the good-looking one? Our lives have melded into fantasy. What are we to do?

Well in the words of Lady Grantham: “Don’t be so defeatist, dear! It’s very middle class!”  We mustn’t be defeatist. So we could try to become famous writers or become rich (those people always end up with hotties.) It’s possible–crazy shit like this always happens on Girls. Given the fact that I did write this post and I’m a realist–I think my best path might be to play Powerball. Wish me luck and get off your average-lookin’ asses and start writing.

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In case you’re not familiar with my spiritual guide the incomparable Lady Grantham take a listen to her pearls:

Don’t Miss:

HBO’s Girls Triggers My Mid-Life Crisis!

The Top 10 Reasons Why The Hot Guy On HBO’s Girls Left

 

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3 thoughts on “Lena Dunham Ruins Ugly People’s Lives

  1. Pingback: HBO’s Girls Disenfranchises Teenage Boys (NSFW) markatlarge

  2. ashley

    Wait, what? You call others hypocrites when you randomly prejudge ScoJo for being what you perceive as “hot”? And as such you assume she has no passion and MUST be a phony stuck-up cheerleader trope with no personality? You’re cold, I’ll give you that.

    You’re just the same as the people you claim to hate. How about all women stop being judged so unfairly for what they look like? Judge not, lest ye be judged.

    Reply
    1. J Williams

      I’ve watched through all 3 seasons of Girls, read pro/anti articles for the show, and actually read followed some of the actresses/actors on Twitter. I can say, after giving this show more than a fair chance, that I fucking it with an unparalleled passion. It’s simultaneously pretentious, worthy of feelings of contempt, presumptuous and condescending. There is no value that I took away from this show. I literally cannot remember one time I found something funny in it. In fact, I found myself being more annoyed by the bullshit fantasy of NYC. At least the movies try to get it right. This show didn’t. Not a single person of color anywhere for more than two episodes until she got a gig, even then, she was just background prop worth. But that’s not the biggest gripe I have with the show at the moment. My biggest gripe is that we are supposed to automatically give a shit because the characters are there, not because of emotional investment, followed by emotional payoff, not because they experience character development and growth (which there is none).
      ****************************SPOILER ALERT********************************************* We all know Marnie is an emotionally vacant sycophant, so it’s not surprising in the least to see her revel in destroying a relationship, and not give a fuck about fucking her best friend’s ex behind her back. It’s not surprising to see Hannah intentionally walk in on her friend, literally getting fucked, because she felt like being nosy and disrespecting her friends privacy, not to mention home. None of this surprises me, because the writing is pretty shallow. Pfft, and this is the voice of my generation.

      Reply

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