Old People’s Response to Tom Daley’s New Boyfriend: F*ck I Have a Chance

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Tom Daley’s real boyfriend has been revealed it’s 39 year-old Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. It’s still unconfirmed, however NAMBLA (North America Man Boy Love Association) is heralding the news as a triumph.  Middle-aged men around the world are hanging Teen Beat pictures of Tom with drawn hearts to their bedroom wall. Later today a bunch of 30-40 years-old dudes will be at the mall trampling over 13 year-old girls to get Tom’s 2014 calendar. It’s crazy!

Of course it’s completely inappropriate for a 19 year-old to date a 39 year-old, but this is TOM DALEY! So if I was Dustin Lance Black I would say ‘fuck you all!’ Sorry the post is so short today, but I have to meet some buddies at the mall.

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