The Gay-Hetero: Macklemore

Embedly Powered

Macklemore is the epitome of the gay-hetero (i.e. a straight guy that just likes gay things.) Take a look at his Instagram with Justin Timberlake from the VMAs: a sea-foam green suit and he’s with Justin Timberlake–I mean that’s gay and gayer right there. But it’s the Instagram caption that gives him away:

This was right before we left the VMA’s and went to Baskin Robbins. JT got the triple scoop mint chocolate chip, rocky road and cookies and cream combo. Sprinkles and Reese’s pieces on top. I got a lowfat sherbet shake and only drank half

Only a gay person or model feels it necessary to justify eating a dessert. Maclemore doubles down confessing it was a “lowfat sherbet” and he “only drank half.” Caloric-guilting is quite common amongst the gays, hence the need for these obligatory quotes: “I threw it immediately up,” “it’s the only thing I ate all day,” “I did a two-hour spin class” or the classic “I was drunk.” Excuses I use all the time.

Another odd peculiarity among gay people is their love of fur. Don’t get me wrong we’re all pro-Peta and everything. But if we see a fur we must try it on, since we didn’t originally purchase it we feel totally ok to give it a spin. After all the guilt of those dead animals are on the person who originally purchased the coat–not the second-hand wearer!!!

Check out Maklemore more and his love of a thrift-store fur:

Macklemore Fur Coat 2 Macklemore Fur Coat

Oh Gurrrrrl he’s lovin that fur.

I’m 100% on-point about this fur thing. I myself fell tragically victim to this peculiarity. Check out what I did one night in NYC when I went out for drinks, got drunk (FYI drinking is a great excuse for a lot of things, not just eating bad eating) and ended up in some fab NYC apartment:

Embedly Powered

Saw a fur and tired it on–It’s what gay people do.

We know Macklemore is straight. He has a hot fiancée:

Embedly Powered

(In fur again!)

And Macklemore wrote an entire song about being straight, but liking gay stuff (at least the first few bars):

Now Macklemore in not the only Gay-Hetero there are a lot! Check out Nick Cannon–he’s got every gay guys fantasy life: married to Mariah Carey and he as a job that he can dress like this:

vibe-nick-cannon-q-a

Nick-Cannon-+-America-Got-Talent-7

And of course there is Cee Lo Green:

Cee Lo Green

Feathers/furs the same thing:701840-cee-lo-green

And of course who can forget the original gay-hetero Prince:

Prince

Prince Naked

 

email

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>