Celebrity Wife Swap: Gary Busey + Ted Haggard = Fail


Can Celebrity Wife Swap get a redo? You would think swapping wives with Gary Busey, who is not operating with a full deck and Ted Haggard who was taken down by gay sex scandal would be TV gold but it didn’t work.

It didn’t work because Busey and Haggard are oddly alike.

Tim Haggard's family in Hottub

Ted Haggard is a whacky Evangelical family man. Busey is a spiritual person who doesn’t believe in organized religion but a hodge podge of bizarre stuff, like past lives, Indian cleanses and there is no hell. Both men are bizarre, eccentric and delusional in their own special ways.

But if you follow Gary Busey’s reality television career you know his random, incoherent thoughts that he patches together thoroughly irritates his fellow reality show stars. But Haggard’s wife was the exception.

Haggard’s wife, who is clearly clueless, didn’t find one problem with completely certifiable Gary Busey.  The Stepford wife (aka Haggard other half) comes off like a cult member who is completely brainwashed repeating the mantra God is Good, God is great—I must forgive my husband boinking another man.

Ted Haggard and his wife seem to have no qualms discussing Ted’s claim to fame–having sex with a gay hooker (or a massage as Ted recalls) and doing Crystal Meth.

An overly staged scene was setup where Busey’s wife was given excerpts of Haggard’s wife’s book to read and discuss with Ted. Haggard’s wife brought up the sex scandal with Gary the first day she took over the household.  Both Gary and his wife seemed to have little interest in discussing the Haggards’ sordid life.

The show did fail, but Ted Haggard is completely fascinating to watch. He comes off as an eerily happy guy who has been castrated and doped up on psychotropic drugs to repress his homosexual urges. You get the total vibe he and his wife never have sex, but substitute prayer and happy thoughts instead of doing the deed.

Ted’s major flaw, uncovered on Wife Swap, was he never spent enough one-on-one time with his 30-year-old daughter who oddly still lives at home. One wonders how they miss each other living under the same roof. But Ted’s son refutes his sister claim insisting daddy spent plenty of time with him.

Ted Haggards "masseur"

Oh dear, I hope another scandal is not on the horizon. Ted might want to consider castration to ensure these feeling never bubble up again—pray away the gay just might not be enough.

George Takei and Brad

Haggard’s 30-year-old daughter, who is very attractive, might want to consider getting over her daddy issue, moving out of the house and finding a boyfriend.  It might be best to get as far away from Ted as possible.

Putting two wacky families together just didn’t make good television. What makes Wife Swap work is putting two totally opposite families together i.e. a neat freak family with a hoarder family. You watch both families freak out and it’s just good television.

If ABC was serious about making the Haggard Wife Swap work they should have swapped spouses with George Takei and his husband Brad–that would have been a show to watch. Who wouldn’t want to see George Takei taking Haggard out to the gay strip clubs, bars and bathhouses. Let’s get a redo!

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6 thoughts on “Celebrity Wife Swap: Gary Busey + Ted Haggard = Fail

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    I do not normally watch reality TV, but I watched this episode just because wives were swapping between Haggard and Busey. I found it riveting to watch two men that have had publicly difficult situations open their personal lives to each other’s other halves. I found this episode on DISHonline.com and like other episodes of Celebrity Wife Swap it was free to watch. I was shocked to see both women cope so well with their different environments without losing their own beliefs and composure. It was a little irritating that the Haggard wife wanted to keep bringing herself up in conversation, but the picnic table discussion at the end was gratifying. Since I work in TV for DISH, I know that shocking situations make people want to watch reality TV. Yes, it would have been more interesting to watch a same-sex couple swap partners with the Haggards, but ultimately I do not think there would have been the same kind of closure at the end.

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